Pet Sounds

So I’ve been listening to a lot of country music lately- maybe it’s because these days I feel like these folks are singing to me. They remind me that love is the most important thing, they assure me that I’m better off without all my ex-boyfriends, they console me about not having much money, and yesterday they sang to me about taking a human pet for a walk. Yeah so maybe that’s not what Brad Paisley had in mind when he was writing his song Ticks, (from his 2008 album 5th Gear) but we kinksters tend to find perverse pleasure in even the purest of places. I was driving to the hardware store, listening to CAT Country 98.1 when I heard the lyrics:

I’d like to kiss you
Way back in the sticks
I’d like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And check you for ticks.

I smiled to myself and imagined taking my puppy out for a little adventure on a bright afternoon. It may seem like a bit of a stretch, but give it a listen with that image in mind. Paisley’s singing about taking his partner for a walk and grooming her afterward- tell me that’s not puppy love. Plus look at that mischievous smile in the video! Priceless.



There are a few other songs that give me this same feeling. They are explicitly about a human with a non-human companion and they toe the line between familial and romantic love. There seem to be quite a few songs out there about people being animal-like in bed, like Bloodhound Gang’s Bad Touch (featuring the artists dressed as monkeys), Nine Inch Nails’ Closer, (featuring Trent Reznor tied up and blindfolded) and The Cure’s The Lovecats (featuring band members in cat costumes), but songs with a human/animal relationship theme are a bit more elusive.

The first one that comes to mind is Nellie McKay’s Dog Song from her 2004 album Get Away From Me. I love how she incorporates panting and paw-steps into her performance, and the lyrics suggest she and her dog are soul mates, eternal companions, and (I perversely extrapolate) lovers:

I said woof, be mine
And you gave a wail
And then I was no longer alone
And I was no more a boozer
We'll make the happiest home

I also remembered the Eels song My Beloved Monster from their 1996 album Beautiful Freak. This one reminds me of a friend of mine, Heliotrope. She’s not a puppy or a kitty cat- she’s a monster. Perhaps a little monster. Maybe even a pet monster. But a monster. This song is about having a girlfriend who is a creature:

My beloved monster is tough
If she wants she will destroy you
But if you lay her down for a kiss
Her little heart, it could explode

And it’s probably one of the sweetest songs ever. Rawr!

Lastly, my favorite song with this obscure theme is Caitlin Cary’s Pony from her 2001 album While You Weren’t Looking. I think you’ll know why this is my favorite as soon as you read these lyrics:

My baby, he’s a pony
He’s the one who loves me only
My baby is the only one
My pony

This is clearly a love story about a girl and her pony. And the song features catchy, percussive hand-clapping which makes it an automatic winner in my book.

I’m certainly not a music buff, and there are probably many more songs out there about human/creature relationships that I’ve not heard. What songs remind you of pet play?